


there is just one thing i need (this is all i'm asking for)

by aceofdiamonds



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 16:11:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1095981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceofdiamonds/pseuds/aceofdiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You can't use that card every two minutes," Nico says warily, gritting his teeth as he slides his uninjured arm out. This arm is covered in ink, Percy sees. He wants to lean closer, wants to touch, but he doesn't know the boundaries anymore if he knew them to begin with. ”Help me, will you?”</p><p>Percy winces at the groan and flash of pure pain on Nico’s face when he gently pulls the sleeve off, holding Nico’s hand like that will help. He throws the jacket onto the bed behind them -- that goddam leather jacket that makes Nico look five years older and makes Percy want to push him down onto the bed and kiss him until his cheeks flush and -- shit. This is what Rachel was talking about, isn't it? Fuck.</p><p>realisations and pining and snow and drinking</p>
            </blockquote>





	there is just one thing i need (this is all i'm asking for)

**Author's Note:**

> this started as a christmas fic and ended up with pining and stubborn boys and so much mariah carey in the background. my want for nico with tattoos comes across fairly clearly i think. i just wanted christmas love confessions. i don't know what happened. set some time after heroes of olympus. i haven't read house of hades yet, so. i don't own this universe.

There's snow on Camp Half Blood. The Pegasi don't like it -- _can't kick off properly, you get me, boss?_ \--; neither do the Demeter or Hephaestus cabins -- nature doesn't grow in snow and metal _rusts_. The campers do, mostly. It means snowball fights and competitive sledging and snowmen that look just a bit like Mr D if you squint and tilt your head this way. The majority of the mugs at meal times are filled with marshmallow topped hot chocolate. Marshmallows taste even nicer blue, Percy is pleased to discover. 

But the snow makes it hard for chores which Mr D is still insisting on. Percy pities Mr D's wife as he trudges through the snow, the snow seeping through his trainers to his socks, and wonders how she manages to stick with him after all these years. Maybe it's for Pollux's sake. Percy skids and the cart of food for the Pegasi wobbles precariously. It must be for Pollux's sake. United families and all that. He trips again, swears loudly, and makes a promise never to let Dionysus hear him call his Hawaiian shirts tacky again. 

They're doing a thing later. For families. Something about Christmas, Percy wasn't really listening. Everyone's coming -- Hazel, Frank, Thalia, Reyna. Annabeth. Percy sent an invite down to Nico but he hasn't had a reply. He isn't really expecting one. Nico all but dropped off the face of the earth after the battle against Gaia and Percy -- he misses him. It's odd to think of missing Nico di Angelo, the kid who lives with the dead and who has betrayed Percy once or twice over the years, but he became used to him in the end, liked prying little smiles or huffs of reluctant laughter from him and seeing his eyes light up when something made him happy, and then he was gone and now Percy's caught on missing him. 

So, yeah. The family thing. Percy's mom can't make it -- she's away on a trip with Paul Blowfish -- Blofish, sorry -- for the holidays and the godly parents have all been invited but Poseidon's never been one to follow the book so it's looking like it's just going to be Percy representing his cabin. He's okay with this, really. He's seen the way Athena casts her cool gaze over her children, the way Aphrodite smiles with glee at a tangled love triangle, the rest ignoring their kids completely, and thinks that there's more than monsters to fuck up demigods. 

The night of the thing -- it's a dance, Piper tells him, rolling her eyes and shoving a bag into his hands. Put that on and try and look like you want to be there -- Percy shoves on his trainers, runs a hand through his hair, and makes sure his t-shirt is clean before he heads out into the snow to make his way to the arena which has been decked out in lights and fires to stop people from dropping dead with hypothermia. He slouches in, head down to avoid Mr D who is holding a glass that looks so like wine it's impressive, and surveys the room, seeing that no his dad isn't here and neither is his mom or Tyson or -- 

"Percy," someone says quietly at his side, their fingers brushing his shoulder. He turns to see Annabeth hovering beside him, looking uncommonly unsure about what to do. Their break-up had been normal, ordinary, completely mundane. They had both decided that things just weren't what they used to be, that maybe they had run their course, and that had been that. See, nothing to write home about, and yes Percy is fine, the holiday season brings out the worst in everyone that's all. "How are you?" 

Percy shrugs, smiles softly. "Can't complain. You? How's Camp Jupiter?" That had been another smooth arrangement in the break-up. It's not that they couldn't have co-existed at the same camp, they were still friends for gods sake, but there was something in splitting up completely that felt right to both of them and Annabeth had looked away from Percy and turned to Reyna and Percy had privately been relieved he had been handed Camp Half Blood. 

Annabeth laughs and there's something Percy's missing here, maybe. He waits patiently for Annabeth to smile and tell him camp is good, she loves the architecture, could look at it all day, it really is wonderful, Percy and he tells her about the rogue monster he slayed on his last trip into the city. She asks when he's coming to visit next and it's a friend asking a friend, nothing more nothing less, so Percy shrugs and says he'll probably be over some time in the new year before school starts up again. This satisfies Annabeth who laughs again and says she can't wait, then reaches up to ruffle his hair and moves off into the crowd. He watches as Reyna falls into step with her, their arms linking easily, and suddenly he misses everyone, misses the Argo ll crew and the way they all fit, not quite a first but perfectly by the end.

Percy wanders over to the group gathered at the door, a rabble led by the Stoll brothers, and hopes they've got a plan to liven this up a bit because Ares is over there in the corner looking like he's going to start a war if things don't start getting interesting fast. He's about to ask what's going on when something catches his eye, a flash of pale pale skin and so much black. He turns and looks for the white and the black and the person Percy hasn't seen in two years -- 

He's grown up, Percy realises, standing in the middle of the room two feet from him. His hair is shorter, not hanging in his eyes so much. He's taller, and fitter, too; lean muscles and defined biceps, but it's more than that. It's in the way he holds himself, like maybe he doesn't carry everything around with him all the time anymore, grief and helplessness no longer hanging from his shoulders. He looks more -- mature. Yes, mature sounds about right. 

Nico catches his eye, his mouth curving into a smirk. "There's not a lot to do in hell," he says, interpreting Percy's stare with something he's comfortable with. "Hades has a pretty cool gym hidden away down there." 

Percy rolls his eyes but walks forward to clap his hand on Nico's shoulder, pretending not to notice that Nico's got a couple of inches on him now and pretending that he's not over the moon that he's actually here, right in front of him. "I'm glad you came." 

Nico lifts a shoulder in a half-assed shrug. "I was due a visit up here. Plus Hazel sent me an Iris-message saying you were crying your eyes out without me, thought I'd better drop in." 

"So this is just a visit then?" Nico's got a leather jacket on, one that looks cheap in a very expensive way, and his hands are shoved deep in the pockets, every inch the defensive teenager he left as but not completely, that something different is still there, sharpening and brightening the edges. 

"Percy, what else is there up here for me?" It's said softly, almost getting drowned in the jangly Christmas music Grover insists on playing, like he's trying not to hurt anyone's feelings here, he's just stating facts, but Percy's chest tightens anyway. 

"Other living people," he throws out and Nico just arches an eyebrow and says "I'm beginning to see that maybe living is overrated," and Percy realises then that Nico maybe hasn't changed as much as he first thought. "Fine. Enjoy your stay." 

"Oh, Jackson, don't be like that," Nico calls after him. A couple of kids turn at the shout and turn away again when they realise who it is. "Who am I going to cuddle beside the fire?" 

Percy flips him off over his shoulder, ignoring the quiet bark of laughter that he somehow catches over the forced cheeriness of Slade. He loiters beside the buffet for a while until the nymphs get snappy with him and he turns to dancing instead. Dancing badly by himself, twirling unsuspecting campers a couple of times before moving onto the next, tripping over his own two feet when he gets too enthusiastic. It's a fucking car crash, really, and he knows Nico is around to see it. 

Rachel finds him after a while and knows what's happening in that frustratingly intuitive way of hers. She pats his arm and says it's alright, everyone understands, just give it time, and Percy leaves the conversation feeling more lost than before. 

\--

Percy freezes the lake after pleads from absolutely everyone at camp, non humans included. He tests the ice himself, jumping all over the lake to make sure it's thick enough, and promises the water nymphs it's only for a couple of hours. They sigh and flutter at him before diving down to the deepest area to tell Poseidon his son is showing off again -- he was /asked/. Anyway it's worth it when everyone bundles up in five layers each and digs out the skates that haven't been used in a decade. The Hephaestus campers have adjusted theirs to emit sparks when they skid around corners and the Apollo cabin has added arrows to the heels because the Apollo cabin has to add arrows to everything. 

Percy's not the best skater, his relationship with water only gets him the basics. He can get into the middle without anyone's help but there's not much else he can do. He's better than Nico, he sees. Nico who has stuck around for three days now -- not that Percy is looking. Percy has been avoiding, actually, but it's hard to avoid when that shock of black hair and those tired eyes are the first thing you look for without trying --. Nico who has taken to skating the way Bambi took to walking. Percy looks closer, wobbling himself, and sees the pink of Nico's tongue caught between his teeth as he moves his foot forward, his hands forced out of his pockets to keep his balance. 

"Watch out, Jackson!" Katie Gardner careers past him, her arm catching his and sending him spinning. By the time he's sorted himself out Nico has made his way closer to the middle, his arms still ready to brace his fall. Percy can see the soft curve of his smile, the smile directed at the ground, at his feet that have somehow taken him further away from the edge than he expected. His balance is okay, yeah, when he's stationary and completely in control, but there's a game of tag going on, the game that cost Percy to come so close to falling, and a speeding Hermes kid sends Nico past the almost and straight to crashing to the ground. 

Percy feels himself gliding over before he can really think about what his feet are doing. He gets to Nico all in one piece and finds that Nico's not quite the same. His arm is bent funny where it's cradled against his chest, clearly broken even to the untrained eye, and Percy knows Nico doesn't like to ask for help but there's no way he's going to be able to get up without assistance. No one else has stopped. It's not that they're still scared of Nico; he really has improved, talking more, glaring less, but he still doesn't exactly have _friends_ and Hazel always jumps at the chance to help her brother but she’s not here but Percy is Percy's got him. 

He crouches beside Nico, dropping his ass onto the ice to prevent the inevitable fall, and reaches out to touch Nico's shoulder. His head is tucked against his chest, his arm curved around the broken one protectively, but he knows it's Percy in the way he flinches away from his hand. 

"I'm fine," he snaps, the pain leaking into those two words. 

"No, you're not," Percy says and he sounds a lot more patient than he actually is. Nico lifts his head to glare at him, his eyes dark and watery at the corners. "Here, let me help you --"

"I'm fine, Percy." Nico shuffles back, his arm jostling and making him gasp. "Alright," he sighs, defeated. "Alright, help me up." 

Percy doesn't actually know how that's going to happen. Ice is tricky to conquer in the first place but add in two uncoordinated stubborn boys, a violent ongoing game of tag, and a broken arm, and disaster is just around the corner. He gets to his feet first then cautiously bends to take Nico's hand, pulling him up. Nico falls against him, a moan falling into Percy's shoulder when his arm gets pressed between them. "It's alright," Percy promises. "You'll be alright." 

He looks at the campers who have slowed to a stop around them, gesturing for Travis Stoll to come over. "Help me get him off the ice? I'm crap at this and I don't want to hurt his arm again." 

Once they're back on safe ground Travis heads back with a hope that he’ll be okay and Percy tugs Nico over in the direction of the cabins. The snow is still ankle deep, the paths shovelled by the campers useless. They had taken off their skates beside the lake but had forgotten their shoes and Percy's feet feel numb. 

"It's only my arm, Percy," Nico murmurs after a moment. "Jesus." 

"You look like you might pass out," Percy replies, looking at Nico like it's somehow his fault. "Can you not skate?"

Nico makes a noise that sounds the closest thing to a laugh Percy's heard since he got here. "Like you're much better. I saw Katie almost take you down." 

"The key word there is almost," Percy says. He slides an arm round Nico's shoulders, careful of his arm, and leads him over to his cabin which is closer than the medical bay. There's ambrosia there; it's just a broken arm, that's all he needs, right? He pushes Nico inside first, kicking the snow away from the door, and waves his hand over towards the bed. "Sit over there."

"I didn't know you trained as a doctor while I was gone," Nico says. the smirk loud and clear from where he's perched on the bed. "Do you know what you're doing here, Jackson?" 

"I saved the world, Nico," Percy replies, after a triumphant _ha_ when he finds the box of emergency medical supplies at the back of his cupboard. There's a bottle of Jack Daniels back there too for some reason which he brings out too with a shrug. "I know what I'm doing." He dumps the stuff on the bed and then gestures for Nico to take off his jacket. 

"You can't use that card every two minutes," Nico says warily, gritting his teeth as he slides his uninjured arm out. This arm is covered in ink, Percy sees. He wants to lean closer, wants to _touch_ , but he doesn't know the boundaries anymore if he knew them to begin with. ”Help me, will you?”

Percy winces at the groan and flash of pure pain on Nico’s face when he gently pulls the sleeve off, holding Nico’s hand like that will help. He throws the jacket onto the bed behind them -- that goddam leather jacket that makes Nico look five years older and makes Percy want to push him down onto the bed and kiss him until his cheeks flush and -- shit. This is what Rachel was talking about, isn't it? Fuck.

“Jackson,” Nico says, snapping his fingers in Percy’s face. The fingers that Percy isn’t holding. Fuck. “Percy. My arm?”

“Wha --?” Percy is having some sort of _crisis_ here, can’t Nico see? He looks away from Nico’s face, away from the chapped lips that have been bitten red, and blinks at the crooked arm he’s holding. “Shit!”

“Are you okay, Jackson? Have you gone mental?” Nico tilts his head and leans in closer to look at Percy. There’s some amusement there hidden behind the pain. That dark sense of humour that Percy has missed over the past two years.

“No, sorry, let me -- I’ll get the ambrosia.”

He passes the chunk to Nico, all but pushing it into his mouth for him and then gingerly straightens out his arm, rushing out apologies when Nico jerks at the pain. It’ll heal if they just keep it still won’t it? Annabeth’s ankle healed that time in Italy with just some ambrosia and a hastily made cast. Granted, she’d had a limp for a while but this is a clean break, if Nico lays here on Percy’s bed for a while and doesn’t move he’ll be fine, right?

“You’ll be fine,” he says.

“Are you saying that to comfort me or you?” There isn’t as much pain in Nico’s voice now and his eyes are sharper, less glazed.

“Both.”

Nico rolls his eyes. “What now?”

“Well you have to lie there for a while, I think.” Percy rubs the back of his neck, frowning. “You know, just to be sure.”

“Lying in Percy Jackson’s bed?” Nico raises an eyebrow, already swivelling his legs up and lowering himself back onto the pillows, looking perfectly at ease for once. “A lifelong dream.”

“Shut up,” Percy says because that’s always a good reply and because now his dreams are going to be exactly that. Fuck.

“Stop doing that weird thing with your eyebrows and get over here,” Nico says, somehow making the ask for comfort demanding. “You’re not a very good nurse,” he adds once Percy has stretched out beside him.

“I might have made it worse,” Percy admits.

“I think you made this happen on purpose to keep me from leaving.”

Percy laughs. “It’s not my fault you’re so shit at ice-skating.”

“Yeah I really should have practiced more in hell. What was I thinking?” Nico laughs then, one of those rare bursts that Percy always grabbed on to, a swell of achievement filling him up until he felt like he was glowing. It does the same now and Percy reaches out to touch Nico’s uninjured arm, the one with the tattoo, and lifts it above them when Nico doesn’t pull away.

He runs his finger down the design, tracing over the lines of ink. It must have been painful. He’s been thinking about maybe getting his own one day, he has no idea what yet, but the pain is putting him off. This must have taken a while. He wonders if Nico worried away at his lip to stop from crying out, his nails digging into his palm with his hand clenched at his side. Maybe he took someone with him, maybe he has so much more friends down there, dead or alive, and that’s why he doesn’t want to hang about up here.

"Where'd you get this done? Can't imagine there's many places in the Underworld." 

"The Hollywood entrance is near a bunch of them."

"I thought you said you hadn't been above ground for a while," Percy says, not keeping all of the accusation out his question. 

"This felt urgent." 

Percy looks back at the tattoo, the spiky tail of the dragon, the way the fire curls and licks down Nico's arm. His hand fits around Nico's wrist, his thumb pressing at the burst of flames, and thinks he can feel the heat. Nico sucks a breath in through his teeth. 

“Did it hurt?”

He feels Nico’s shoulder lift where it’s pressed against his own. “It was manageable. Not enough to keep me from going back for more.”

“Do you? Have more, I mean?” Percy’s mouth is very dry. His eyes flit over Nico’s torso, zeroing in on the inch of skin at his hip where his t-shirt has ridden up.

“You’re not getting all my secrets, Jackson,” Nico says, and when Percy raises his head Nico is smirking. “Not in one day. I have an illusion of mystery to maintain.”

“I’ll find out one day,” he promises and then sits up to reach for the Jack Daniels. “Just need to get you drunk first.”

“This isn’t the Percy I left,” Nico laughs. This is what Percy has missed, the way Nico’s eyes light up when he smiles, his face clear of anger and pain and the need to avenge his awful past, his body relaxed. Maybe all he needed was a broken limb to loosen him up. “Who corrupted you?”

“Jason,” Percy says round a swig of alcohol. He holds back the cough at the strength of the stuff and passes the bottle to Nico who raises onto his good elbow to take a gulp. The veins in his throat stand out against the pale, his throat working when he swallows. Percy hums and looks away.

“Yeah that sounds about right,” Nico agrees, taking another drink before passing it back. “Never one for following rules, is he?”

“I don’t know how Piper puts up with him.”

“Maybe the sex is good,” Nico offers, his head stretching back in a cackle.

Percy swallows, takes another gulp. The bottle’s disappearing too fast. They should speak to Mr D about that. “Jesus. He probably takes to that the way he does with everything.” No, Percy doesn’t think about sex with Nico. Doesn’t think about Nico stretched out under him, his lips swollen and bruises the shape of Percy’s mouth littering his chest and hips, his mouth open in broken moans and little gasps.

“Ha. Perfectly, you mean,” Nico sniggers. His hand slips to link with Percy’s, his fingers cool and clammy and exactly what Percy wants. “D’you think he asks Piper to mark him outta ten?”

“Only eight this time, Grace. Could try harder.”

Nico rolls into his side, his arm carefully out of the way on the other side. He’s laughing and laughing until he’s breathless, his pants hitting Percy’s neck. Percy slides an arm round his waist -- it’s automatic, alright? This is what everyone does -- and pulls him closer, sniggering himself. He’s struck again, with Nico soft and pliant against him, how different this boy is to the one who left two years ago. He doesn’t know how the change happened, it’s not like there’s an array of positive role-models in the Underworld, but he’s thankful for it, thankful that he can rest his chin on Nico’s head, their hands linked between them, and that it feels right, like this is what was supposed to happen all along.

(They fall asleep curled up like that, the bottle of Jack resting on the pillow beside them, and when they wake up the next morning they take stock of the shift in the atmosphere, the string of tension now tied between them, and things fall right back into place. Percy rubs his eyes sleepily, blinking at Nico who is staring at him with soft eyes like this is something he needs, and mumbles something about breakfast. They roll out of bed and head to the hall and that’s them, back to normal.)

\--

They have this spot, down by the lake, where they meet most days. It’s freezing down there even with the snow mostly gone but it’s quiet and they both feel at home with the water there for Percy and the earth right here for Nico. They talk, mostly. Percy pushes at Nico to tell him about his other tattoos, his fingers prodding at Nico’s sides enough to make Nico huff a laugh and push his hands away, sometimes his fingers slipping to slot between Percy’s. When that happens it gets a little bit warmer down by the lake.

“Why did you leave?” Percy asks one day, just as the sun is going down.

He doesn’t think Nico is going to answer at first. The silence stretches out between them for so long Percy opens his mouth to take it back but then Nico exhales, stretching out his legs in front of him. “One thing my father has taught me is to run away from my problems. I tried that before when I was too young to see how stupid and cowardly that was but then when I stopped running it felt like things were unbalanced, like maybe I didn’t belong after all, and so I followed his advice again.”

“Why have you stayed?”

“I’m seeing how things are turning out. It’s different now. _I_ feel different. Running doesn’t seem like an option anymore.”

“Running is always an option,” Percy offers. “But I’m glad you’ve stayed.”

“Yeah?” Nico turns to look at Percy. “Thanks.”

\--

“I see you’ve worked it out,” Rachel says on the bus. They’re going on a field trip to a Christmas market in New York City because, as Chiron pointed out, it’s Christmas soon. Percy doesn’t know how he ended up sitting beside Rachel; she always does this.

“Worked what out?”

“Your feelings?” This is too _vague_. The Oracle has turned her into this.

“My feelings --?” Nico catches his eye across the aisle from where he’s beside Frank and rolls his eyes when Frank turns around in his seat again to speak to Hazel. Percy laughs and winks. Those feelings. Right. “How do you know about that?”

Rachel gives him the look she gives him too often. It’s similar to Annabeth’s and Thalia’s and Chiron’s and Nico’s and -- everyone at camp has the same look for him. He’s supposed to be the hero here. Where’s the respect?

“You look terrified,” Rachel says. “Why do you look terrified?”

“I am _not_.” He is. “These feelings are not appropriate. It’s not like he feels the same.”

“Oh, Percy,” is all he gets as a reply to that. That, and a pat on the arm.

Percy turns to watch the city get closer and closer. For all that he loves Camp this is his _home_.

The market is loud and busy and it’s so so loud. Everyone gets separated within the first thirty seconds with shouts from Chiron to meet back up in three hours. Percy tugs Nico over to the free mulled wine and swipes them both a glass, both of them gulping it down too quickly and burning their throats. Nico grabs another two, ducking away from the frowning vendor, and leads Percy further into the crowds.

“This is nice,” Nico mumbles around the rim of his glass. “I didn’t think I liked wine.”

“Mm. Wonder if Mr D can drink this stuff.” Percy laughs at Zeus working out a way to close this loophole and Mr D’s heartbroken sigh. “We should take some back for him.”

But Nico is already turned away, looking for the next thing to do. He sees something up ahead and circles Percy’s wrist with his fingers, pulling him over to a stall where there’s a group of Apollo kids jostling to get to the front. It’s one of those hoop things, Percy sees when he stands on his tip-toes, hand firm on Nico’s shoulder for balance. Chuck the hoop and if it catches a stick, congratulations you’ve won a giant teddy. Percy goes to move on but Nico turns to look at him, his eyes wide, and Percy knows they’re here until something has been won, preferably the Pegasus at the back which looks nothing like any Pegasi Percy has ever seen.

They lose the first three times. The Apollo kids catcall and jeer over their tigers and unicorns. Percy grits his teeth, leans forward and -- “The Pegasus please.”

“Why did you pick this one?” Nico asks on the way past a chocolate fountain. “It looks nothing like Blackjack.”

“That’s why I got it,” Percy says like it’s obvious. Then, thinking about it, he hands it to Nico. “There you go, merry christmas.”

“Is this my present?” Nico arches an eyebrow. His lips are still stained red from the wine. Percy wants to _taste_. He clears his throat and looks suitably offended. Nico sighs, examines the toy and then beams. “I’m gonna name him Pegasus.”

“You’re the worst,” Percy moans, pushing him into a crowd of moms and their buggies.

“You love me,” Nico says.

It’s flippant, a joke, but it makes Percy come to a stop in front of a burger stall, his heart pounding furiously in his chest. It’s what he’s been tentatively coming closer to the last few days but when it’s said out loud like that, so blunt and obvious and _true_ , it makes his breath get caught in his throat and his hands shake. Yes he wants to kiss Nico, of course he wants to pull him close and kiss him and touch him and mark his body up to make him moan, but he wants so much more too. He wants what the last week has been, the laughing and talking and learning everything he didn’t already know about Nico, and he wants to sleep in Nico’s bed and wake up with him and he missed him so much over those two years and Annabeth knew, didn’t she? Annabeth always knows. When Aphrodite said his love life was complicated she wasn’t fucking around. _Shit_.

Nico is watching him through this, his head tilted and his hand outstretched like he can somehow pull him back from the edge. Percy brings his hand up to rub his neck and moves away. “I have to -- Nico, I have to go. I’ll --”

He spins on his heel and pushes back the way they came, tripping over a buggy sitting out from the others and walking into the queue for the hoop game. He walks faster when he thinks he hears Nico shouting him. There’s the exit, maybe he can go out and find a quiet spot somewhere where he can sit and calm down, think this all through. He’s almost there when a hand reaches out and grabs his elbow, jerking him off to the side.

“Hey -- Rachel?!”

“Get on the ride, Percy,” Rachel sighs, pushing him towards the giant carousel in the middle of the market. He tries to step back but she’s right behind him, propelling him forward, so he resigns to his fate and climbs on a black horse that has Blackjack’s eyes. He runs a hand over its flank and thinks maybe he’s imagining it but he feels marginally calmer.

Rachel has climbed onto the white stallion beside him, sitting perfectly side-saddle. She reaches over and pinches his arm as soon as the ride has started.

“Ow! What the fuck, Rachel?”

“What is wrong with you?”

“Me? I’m not the one dragging people onto rides against their will and then _assaulting_ them.” The jangle of the carousel music is drowning out the Christmas music the rest of the market has been subjected to.

“I saw you leave Nico.”

“What, saw or _saw_?”

Rachel rolls her eyes. “Both.”

“Hey you can tell me how this all works out, can’t you?” Rachel can see Nico’s rejection and the sympathy everyone will have for Percy. She has all that in her head. Or, and this is something he shouldn’t be thinking about, she has the alternative where Nico reciprocates his feelings and kisses him hard. Percy has that version in his head, too.

“I can but I won’t,” Rachel says bluntly. What is the point of her being the Oracle if she doesn’t even share her important visions. “You know you need to work this out for yourself.”

“I _have_ worked it out,” Percy defends himself. “It’s just a lot to think about and as we discussed earlier it’s not as if I can do anything about it.”

Rachel sighs like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. “Go and talk to Nico. Just --." She waves her hand. "Go.”

He can’t go right now. The ride is still going on. And anyway, he doesn’t see how talking to Nico is the best idea. These feelings, they’ll go away. Nico’s probably leaving again soon -- absence makes the heart forget and all that.

The ride slows to a stop and he jumps off the horse, darting away from Rachel. He’ll hide amongst the stalls for the next hour and then hop back on the bus and avoid Nico forever. Easy.

Or, the alternative plan the universe -- Aphrodite. It’s Aphrodite doing this -- has decided to throw at him is that Nico is going to step out in front of him right about now.

“If you weren’t having a good time you could have just said,” Nico says, ducking his head, which adds to the guilt piling up on Percy’s shoulders. “I would have understood.”

“No, Nico, that’s not what I was doing.”

“You’re not one to usually run away from your problems. That’s my job.”

“I was running -- You’re not a problem.” Percy doesn’t know how to say this to make Nico understand. “I was --”

“You don’t have to lie to me, Percy. I get it.”

Percy is so close to stamping his foot here. This isn’t what he wanted. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. There’s people all around them and that fucking Christmas music is playing too loudly and if this absolutely had to happen this is the opposite of anything Percy would have wanted.

"I need you," Percy says, simply. "And I don't know how you feel about that but --"

Nico huffs out a laugh, runs a shaky hand through his hair. "You're a lot of things, Percy, but you're not an idiot." 

"You've been talking to the wrong people," Percy says then because he doesn't know what the proper reply here is above _tell me what you really think of me. tell me what you want from me because i'll probably give you it, i'm that far gone_. 

"Everyone fucking loves you," Nico says but it's said fondly, like maybe he does too, and that's -- that's good, right? "Including me." 

Oh. _Oh_.

He takes in a shaky breath, Mariah Carey wailing all around them, and thinks he could kiss Nico right here right now, right in the middle of harassed last minute shoppers and hyped up kids and All I Want For Christmas Is You still blaring through the tinny speakers above their heads. He could do all this because Nico just said he loves him, he _loves_ him, and he's looking at him through his lashes, his cheeks flushed from the cold, and so Percy steps forward, grabs Nico's scarf and yanks him closer -- "Fuck it." 

There's something about first kisses. There's the need to get the balance right so your noses aren't bumping and you're not accidentally gnawing at your partner's lip in a decidedly non-sexy way and you need to tilt your head just so and there's the whole tongue debacle but once you've sorted all that out -- once your hands are doing their job and pulling your partner close against your body you're good to let go and focus on how it feels, how your heart is stuttering at too fast a pace and how Nico is making these noises, these little desperate sounds that tell Percy he's wanted this for so long, for so much longer than Percy and now it's happening and it's overwhelming but it's right and everything Percy has been wanting, been needing, for months. 

Nico's lips are chapped from the cold and his hands are too where they've pushed under Percy's layers at his hips and are pressing at his skin. Percy pushes himself even closer, forgetting they're in public, forgetting that they're not the only people around, and nips at Nico's bottom lip, his tongue sliding alongside Nico's, hot and wet. Nico's hands are pushing more insistently at his clothes, his mouth desperate, and Jesus they're still outside they're getting carried away and it's so hard to stop, every time he tries Nico moans a little and pulls him closer, but eventually Percy breaks away, resting his forehead on Nico's. 

"Well," he starts. He stops after that because he's breathless and Nico is smirking and there're still fingers on his hips rubbing little circles that feel like a promise if they get the fuck out of here right now. 

"I think I'm bored of this place now," Nico says conversationally. He looks around, turns back to Percy, and nods. "Yeah. I think it's best that we leave now." 

"You're talking sense, di Angelo," Percy agrees, walking Nico backwards until they're away from the crowds. Nico pulls them into the shadows, still kissing Percy, and when Percy opens his eyes they’re in his bed in Cabin Three. It’s impressive he’ll tell Nico later, but right now he fits his hand on Nico’s shoulder and pulls him on top of him so their chests are pressed together and their legs are tangled and kisses him.

(“I was running from you,” Nico says later. It’s murmured into the space between Percy’s collarbone and neck, a secret. “I was always running from you.”

“What made you stop?”

“I realised you were running too.”)

 


End file.
